We reported last year that Billionaire industrialist Hatei Knujliame (the ultimate spam hater) had financed an elite Spammer hit squad, but until now no reports of Spammer related d.eaths have surfaced. However, it has come to our attention that earlier this week, Gravia Siliac, a well-known spam sender from the Ukraine was found s.lain in his apartment under mysterious circumstances. He could be the first name on the Anti-Spam Group’s Blacklist.
There was no sign of forced entry in the apartment, but Siliac was found sitting at his computer surrounded by 50 empty cans of Spam, the luncheon meat..
It appears that he was forced to eat the Spam until he could no longer swallow and the Spam eventually blocked his airways and he choked to death. D.eath by Spam Block or what the coroner called Deli-Asphyxia.
Local authorities have been dusting the cans for prints, but it’s believed the attackers were wearing gloves. The only other clue was the last email sent on Siliac’s computer to his address book.. Which simply said. “I Love Spam..”
Detectives say the Outlook isn’t good on solving the case and expect Siliac’s file to be deleted quickly. They don’t expect an arrest anytime soon.
Siliac will be buried in an unmarked grave, while his headstone will be placed over a proxy grave nearby. The Headstone simply saying. “Unknown IP”
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Your sense of humor reminds me of mine. Good stuff.
Rich Satire
January 5th, 2007